All Things Hold Together

(Important note added at the end.)

This year for Christmas, my husband got me a new iPod Shuffle.

I said that sometime I wanted to get an MP3 player to listen to podcasts on. When we saw a commercial for this one, I thought it was really cool and said that I wanted one. Meaning, I wanted one in my fantasy world where we are not a family of five struggling to get buy on one modest income. I did not mean that I wanted him to bust our budget by going out and getting me an $80 iPod.

So, when I opened it, I immediately felt guilty.

To make matters worse, his big gift was a Bible. A leather NASB/Amplified parallel Bible. So, I felt really guilty, like I should have gotten a Bible. Which is stupid since he is the one who bought my gift. If anything, I should have felt good about being a more responsible gift giver. But I felt really, really guilty.

A little while later, I decided to look online at what I could download for the iPod.

Then I decided I would open it.

Then - after four hours of figuring out why Windows would not let me install iTunes - I loaded some songs onto it.

Then I went into the iTunes store and downloaded “Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram,” “Enjoying Everyday Life” (Joyce Meyer), and “Focus on the Family.”

Then I realized that I don’t need to feel guilty. This was a gift from my husband to show me how much he appreciates everything I do for our family.

Plus, I have missed listening to Chip Ingram ever since we moved the computer out of our room and into the family area to monitor what the kids were doing online. It’s great to be able to listen to a message while making dinner.

And this thing is cool. Sleek, lightweight, small, great sound, clips anywhere. Very cool. And I’m not even a gadget person.

But best of all, I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. I happen to find it very useful to listen to podcasts during my free time, or while doing housework.

I also got a new Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book. That is by far my favorite cookbook, but mine was 10 years old and falling apart from almost daily use. It’s great to have a new one.

And the kids got me a chocolate melting and dipping set. I wonder if there was an ulterior motive there!

We had a great Christmas, over all. This year no family came over, so it was very mellow and relaxed. And fun.

Hopefully, you all had a good Christmas, too.

Important note: I want to emphasize that my guilty feelings are not a product of being a Christian. It is all me. I have always been this way (but I have not always been a Christian.) I don’t want my hang-ups to poorly represent Christ, so I thought I would add this note. If anything, I have learned to let go of my guilt - a lot of it - through the grace of God, but it is obviously something I am still working on. God doesn’t want me - or anyone - to feel guilty. Guilt is something Satan uses to keep us from being the person God created us to be.