We Are Not Unschoolers

Shortly after I started homeschooling, I was taken in by the notion of unschooling. It seems that a lot of the homeschooling families that I encounter in the blogosphere unschool, at least to some degree, and the case they make is very compelling.

The notion that the children will learn more when they are learning about things that interest them seemed like a no-brainer to me. (Though not until so many people pointed it out.)

I decided to try an unschooling approach for this school year.

Since the boys both really like math, I purchased a curriculum that they wanted, but I figured that I would be flexible about making them do it, that is, they could do it when they wanted to. I figured that sometimes they would work ahead and other times they would skip a day or two.

The same with grammar. They really wanted to try a language arts curriculum, but I wanted to be flexible about when they did it.

As for the rest of the subjects, like social studies, history, and science, I would let them choose to study topics that interested them.

Unfortunately, this post is about how unschooling does not work for our family.

I have been wanting to write this post for a while, to let other families know about our experience. I have to note here that this is not an argument against unschooling in general. It is simply the story of one family’s failed unschooling experiment.

I was recently reading a book about boys and, I’m sorry, I don’t have the citation, it said something to the effect of, boys, when left to their own devices, will do little more than make themselves comfortable.

Now, I know this can’t possibly apply to all boys, and of course, not to your son(s), but this describes my boys to a T. When I read that, I said to myself, A-ha! No wonder that unschooling thing was such a disaster.

The sad reality for us this year has been that, left to their own devices, our boys will do little more than make themselves comfortable. Fortunately for The D, he is comfortable sitting in a chair reading for a couple of hours a day. Unfortunately, the books he reads are of questionable educational value.

And then there is Big E who hates to read. If it wasn’t for our library carrying the Eyewitness video series, I don’t know if he would have learned anything this year.

I know, I know, I am too caught up in my public schooled view of education to appreciate that they are learning stuff. No, I do know that they have learned stuff. They are kids who spend the whole day surrounded by educational materials and no TV. How could they not learn anything?

The problem lies with how much they could have learned, but didn’t.

The deeper problem lies with the one thing they did learn – that they have a say in how things run around here. And that is the critical failure of our unschooling experiment.

See, we are of the school of thought that our children should – um, I don’t know – OBEY US. They don’t. Well, they for the most part do, but they are not happy about it and that unhappiness is growing, as is their vocalization of it.

When I signed on for this homeschooling thing, I was not agreeing to spend my days with whiny, self-entitled, little brats. I want back my happy, lovable children, who flourished under our structured homeschooling of the early days, before I was swept away by the idea of child-led learning.

My kids have gotten out of control. I am embarrassed to admit that I let it get this way, but I did. I am not blaming unschooling. I have just come to the realization that I need to be the parent. For us, that means, I also set the curriculum.

Don’t worry, I don’t intend to give them hours of busy work in subjects they hate, just because the schools do that subject, or just to exert my authority.

I just need to step back from the “child-led” craze and do some leading myself.

As I stated once before on my old blog, maybe I am just doing it wrong, but unschooling definitely did not work for us.

They went to grandma’s for the week (the older two) and when they get back, we are going to begin our new way of homeschooling. No waffling this time.

I’ll keep you posted.