I was working on a post that tells about the struggles I had with my faith last year, but I just could not get it right. I didn’t want it to be too long or say too much, but I wanted it to say enough.
I wanted to share what I learned, looking back, about the way our modern, seeker-friendly churches give people a shallow faith that cannot stand up to trials and tests.
I wanted to share how God used other Christians, some of whom I don’t even know IRL, to bring be back to Him.
I will share it because it is a good story that needs telling, but today I was hit in the face with another example of the problem I had, only this person did not come back, or at least not yet, and a good friend of mine, an inspirational sister in Christ, was hurt in the process.
Some time after I cane to Christ, some ladies in my neighborhood were having a study group for the book Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge, and they invited me.
There was a woman there who was not a Christian, I’ll call her Deena. She was going through a divorce. Her husband had been unfaithful. She was a wreck. I felt compassion for her, but I did not like being around her.
After she accepted Jesus, she was a totally new person. I love being around her now. She is so uplifting. She glows with her love for the Lord.
The most amazing thing about her is that she struggles with illnesses and pain. She has greater struggles than most people I know. But through everything her faith is strong and she is an inspiration to everyone around her.
After seeing this great change, her soon-to-be ex-husband, I’ll call him Stan, wanted to give his life to Jesus. He changed, too, and they recommitted to one another.
I just found out that the seeds sown in him were not so deep; they did not take root in him as they had in her.
Deena found out a couple of months ago that Stan has been having an affair.
Amazingly, through it all, she is closer to the Lord than ever.
But as much as her faith is a testament to the power of having Jesus in your heart, Stan’s unwillingness to repent of his sinful lifestyle is a testament to the sad reality that many people who accept Jesus will fall away.
“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.” - Matt. 13
I don’t know which analogy explains what happened with Stan. Did he not understand the message of the Kingdom? Did it not take root? Did the worries of this world choke it out?
I had a crisis with my faith this past year. For me, I was the man in verses 20-21.
The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.
Fortunately, I did not do anything as stupid and irreparable as what Stan did. Thankfully, God pulled me back and provided me with the means to gain a deeper understanding.
There but for the grace of God go I.
