Understanding ADHD

This morning, I read an article about a 19-year-old young man who died of a heroin overdose. His mother details his struggle with ADHD and how it led to his addiction.

This is one of my greatest fears for my son D. I saw him in bits of her story about her son and it is so terrifying to think that I could someday be facing what this woman is.

She believes that her son was diagnosed too late, at 14, and that help earlier on could have made the difference.

The D was diagnosed earlier this year, at 11, but I have often felt that an earlier diagnosis would have been so much better for all of us. We could have learned more about ADHD and how to parent an ADHD child before this critical time, when the rebellious behaviors are more intense. And D could have gotten professional help sooner, before his self-esteem was so damaged and his behavior patterns so ingrained.

One of the biggest problems I see for parents and children is the public perception of ADHD. For one, many people, including Bob and I at one time, think it is a made-up disorder, the result of schools and parents not wanting to deal with wild boys. The over-medication and over-diagnosis of the condition has contributed to this opinion.

People also do not understand what ADHD is. Most people think it is a child who can’t sit still and focus. These expectations are increasingly placed on kids too early and it is no wonder that we have an ADHD boom.

Well, that is not ADHD. I mean, that is a part of it, but I have three little boys and not a one of them can sit still and focus. Well, they can, but not always and probably not for a six hour school day. Or in the case of Big E, when he was in school, sitting still and focusing for that long made him come home crying from the stress.

ADHD is something entirely different. From the article,

Symptoms include over-activity, sleep disorders, low self-esteem, aggression, disruptive behaviour, frustration, attention-seeking, depression or anxiety and, more importantly in Christopher’s case, a tendency towards substance abuse.

That sounds more serious, does it not?

The D has always had ADHD, but the negative publicity and misinformation about the condition led to his delayed diagnosis.

His childcare center had concerns about his odd behavior. His elementary school teacher in kindergarten had concerns about his lack of social development. His second grade teacher had concerns about his inability to keep still in class. I met regularly with the guidance councilor. He went to a school-recommended therapist for years. No one knew he had ADHD because their understanding of the condition was limited and he did not fit into the picture they had.

D is a very bright child, but ADHD is not a learning disorder.

D can sit and focus for hours on something he is interested in, but ADHD is not an absence of attention; it is a difference of attention. (They should call it Attention Different Hyperactivity Disorder.)

There are many books on the subject that give a more accurate picture of ADHD. One of my favorites is Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child: Dealing with Obsessions, Compulsions, Depression, Explosive Behavior, and Rage, by George T. Lynn.

ADHD is not a myth. It is not a case of “boys will be boys” or of children in need of stricter parenting. These children have real struggles that need to be dealt with in a different way than the parenting of typically developed children.

If you are concerned about your child’s behavior, I encourage you to seek the help of professionals that specialize in ADHD. Early intervention is important, so that you can learn to effectively handle your child’s challenges and help him learn to live with ADHD.

ADHD has some wonderful traits too, including creativity, enthusiasm for adventure, and ability to hyper-focus on things that they are passionate about. Here is a list I found of 64 positive aspects of ADHD.

Although stories such as the one I linked to are heartbreaking and can make the situation seem hopeless, there are also success stories of people who are living with ADHD, such as the star of Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Ty Pennington, and Olympic gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps.

Parenting an ADHD child is difficult and demanding, both physically and emotionally, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel for most parents. With help, your child can live with – and thrive with – ADHD.