All Things Hold Together

It has been a few weeks since I posted a Weight Watchers Wednesday and now I have gone and changed the title.

As you may have guessed from those two facts, I am not doing so well with Weight Watchers.

Let me explain.

My problem, and why I am overweight, is that I am obsessed with food. It is my drug. It is my peace, my sanctuary, my release from the stresses of life. I think about it too much. I have an unhealthy relationship with food.

I feel like - for me - WW only increases my food obsession. I obsess about points and what I can afford to eat, and what I can’t. I find myself thinking about food even more, and that’s not helping.

In a lot of ways, this is a spiritual issue for me. I am not experiencing my full freedom in Christ if I still need to find refuge in food.

Anyway, I have started a new program. It is faith-based and I think it will better get to the heart of my real problem. The program is 30 days long, so I will report back then how it worked for me. (Obviously, the lifestyle change is ongoing after that.)

In the meantime, I still want to blog weekly with a post focused on body wellness, so I will continue (or start again) to do that.

And of course, I will still post yummy, healthy recipes, too.

I don’t want to just look good. I know I can get there with WW because I did it before. I want to feel good. I want to be free from this obsession with food and the roller coaster of emotional highs and lows that comes with it.

I have to note here, on the plus side, I have not gained anything since the last time I weighed myself even though I stopped tracking points.

Now, here is a recipe from Dr. Andrew Weil. (When my husband and I went on our honeymoon, Dr. Weil had just been at the B&B we stayed at the day before.) It uses real food and has 10 g of protein.

Chocolate Ricotta

Ingredients:
1/2 cup lowfat ricotta cheese
2 tbsp mild honey
2 tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Instructions:
1. Combine all the ingredients in a food processor and process until smooth.
2. Scoop into small dessert dishes and serve.

Nutritional Information:
Makes 2 servings (~ 1/4 cup)
Per serving:
145 calories
3 g total fat (2 g sat)
11 mg cholesterol
24 g carbohydrate
10 g protein
2 g fiber
100 mg sodium

That I was going to do a Weight Watchers Wednesday post yesterday, but I didn’t.

I am lame. Sorry. I just can’t seem to make the time to blog. I would like to, but I just can’t. It’s only a season, though, and I thank you for bearing with me.

Anyway, as for WW, I kind of got away from the plan when things with the D got really bad and when I was working overtime with him after his diagnosis.

The good news is, I did not gain a pound! In fact, I lost a pound.

Even though I put my scale away, I wanted to check in and I was pleasantly surprised.

With this weight loss thing, every day is a new day and a new chance to get it right. Time is going to move forward anyway, so I might as well try to do something right with it. The alternative is to get less healthy and more fat in the coming days, weeks, and months, right?

I think the fact that I did not gain during such a stressful time is a great sign that I am making meaningful changes.

And I will continue to make more now that I am refocusing on taking care of me.

Onward!

Well, I don’t have weight gain/loss numbers to report, since I put away my scale, but I feel like I have gained a little.

I know that I have been eating a lot of junk food. There are several factors at work there, not the least of which is my stress over the situation with The D. He has been really difficult lately, but I think things are starting to turn around and we are meeting with a doctor tomorrow, who specializes in behavior plans for children with ODD. (I’ll update more about The D in a different post.)

It hit me the night before last that I was really turning to food in my stress and now that I am aware of it, I am going to put a stop to it.

That brings me to my second reason - I do not have the right foods around to go to. For one, I let junk in my house. For two, I don’t have the good foods that are readily accessible.

Step one for me is to make a shopping list and get to the store.

This was a real reminder of how key menu planning is for my weight loss success. If I do not have a good plan, I default to bad behaviors.

Wow, as I typed that I realized that is why The D needs a behavior plan.

So, I’m feeling good about moving forward, even though the past week was not so hot.

I don’t really have a recipe this week, but I have a fun food tip to share. On Monday, I came home from shopping for way too long with my mom and sister and I was completely famished. Fortunately, we had left over rice and cooked boneless skinless chicken breast. I threw them (carefully measured portions, of course) into a pan coated with cooking spray, some onions and some frozen peas. I added a little soy sauce and cooked until heated through. Delicious and light, yet filling!

I finally got around to posting a Weight Watchers Wednesday post! It feels like it has been too long.

Let me get right to it. I do not have a gain/loss to report because I put my scale away.

I don’t go to WW meetings; I have the Weight Watchers at Home kit. So, I do not have to have weekly weigh-ins, but I usually weight myself once a week.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the bathroom and I got on the scale. I do not know why. It was not my weigh day and, worse yet, I was getting my period, which means I usually gain about 2 pounds.

Well, I had gained about 2 pounds, but my irrational, emotion-driven brain (at least the irrational, emotion-driven side of my brain) immediately started the self-defeating talk. I was able to reason my way through it, but it was not a fun time for me.

Why does that little plastic doodad have so much power?

Why do we give it so much power?

That same morning, I came across this article: The Toss-Your-Scale Diet Plan.

You’re sailing along in life, feeling pretty good about everything, even your body. No, it isn’t perfect, but it is yours and it is doing what it’s supposed to do — mowing the lawn, ironing your skirt, playing baseball with the kids. Then you get on the scale. You weigh more than you thought you did, and within a nanosecond, the scary voice in your mind begins to rant: “You’re fat, you’re a failure, you don’t deserve to feel good about anything!” Suddenly everything that was right before you stepped on the scale is wrong.

Most of us have experienced this shocking self-esteem swing, and although we hate it, we don’t see any way out. But I do. The solution is to just stop weighing yourself. Throw away your scale.

So, I did. Well, I put away my scale.

And I feel great!

I don’t need a scale to tell me when I am losing weight. I have clothes that will feel looser. I have an image in the mirror that will look better. I have a husband whose eyes will tell me all I need to know. (Though, his eyes already tell me all I need to know, which is that he loves me no matter how I look. But, still.)

If I stick to my healthy eating plan (yeah, I mean diet) and keep adding in more exercise, the weight will keep coming off and I don’t need a scale for validation.

I know this is radical and goes against our very nature, but at least read the article. The writer totally understands the mind of a crazy, weight-obsessed woman.

I will weigh myself again after I lose a pants size or two, just so I can celebrate the victory (and, no, I do not mean with a triple-scoop, hot fudge sundae), but no more obsessing over those little numbers that own me.

Or should I say, used to own me.

Okay, here’s a recipe.

Weight Watchers Banana-Oatmeal Bread. 4 Points.

I made this, but I added cinnamon and vanilla. It’s just weird to me that they were not already in the recipe.

The kids loved it. I thought the texture was slightly rubbery, but it was over all, pretty good.

This week, I planned Weight Watchers recipes for dinner every night. Things have been really hectic and I just don’t want to have to deal with trying to calculate my points for each meal.

Monday: Turkey Enchilada Pie (4 points), served with Avacado (2 points for 1/4) and salsa (0 points).

Tuesday: Parmesan Pea Risotto (5 points) (recipe below)

Wednesday: Baked Macaroni and Cheese (5 points) (recipe is at the bottom of that post)

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Broccoli and Cheddar Quiche (5 points)

Saturday: Slow Cooker Red Beans and Barley (4 points) (I always add chili powder and cumin to this recipe)

Parmesan Pea Risotto

1/2 cup water
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic, minced
1 1/2 cup arborio rice
5 cup reduced-sodium, fat-free chicken broth
2 piece bay leaf
1 cup frozen green peas, thawed
1 tablespoon parsley
4 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp reduced-calorie margarine

Heat water in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; sauté 2 minutes. Add rice and cook until translucent, stirring constantly, about 2 minutes. Add 1/2 cup of broth and bay leaves and simmer until liquid is absorbed, stirring constantly. Add remaining chicken broth, 1/2 cup at a time, waiting until liquid is absorbed before adding the next 1/2 cup (our risotto takes about 20 minutes to cook from the time the first liquid is added). Remove bay leaves, fold in peas and cook until hot, about 1 minute. Remove from heat; fold in parsley, Parmesan cheese and margarine. Season to taste with salt and pepper and spoon risotto into shallow bowls; serve hot.

Makes 4 hearty servings
Points per serving: 5

For more Menu Plan Monday, visit Organizing Junkie.

I finally have a few minutes to post this. It has been hectic around here lately for some reason.

Let me get right to it. This past week I did not gain or lose. I am okay with that for two reasons. One, hello, I said I did not gain! And two, my husband said I feel different. I thought so too, but now I have third party confirmation. No, wait. I guess that would be second party confirmation. Whatever. Anyway, good things are happening, it just didn’t show up on the scale. I’m okay with that.

I do have a couple of things I want to focus on - goals, if you will - for the week.

First, my menu plan next Monday is going to be all Weight Watchers recipes. I need to completely break away from my old dinner menus and focus on the plan. Fortunately, my husband loves to eat healthy and enjoys it when I cook WW recipes.

The second is exercise. I know. We all hate it. If we didn’t, we would not be fat.

In my case though, I have the added problem of a bad knee, so even when I do want to exercise, I have to take it s-l-o-w. More like, s—l—o—w. And it drives me c—r—a—z—y!

But I am resolving here and now to start that process with more commitment. My goal is to work up to walking for one hour per day and doing strength training twice per week. (Eventually, which is a long way off, probably, I want to do a 1.5 hour walk and 3 days of strength training, but let’s not get too crazy here.)

I am fortunate in that I can take a walk any time I please because I am home with the kids all day. However, walking with a curious 4-year-old is not exactly the kind of exercise I am looking for.

In order to keep my knee healthy (and not be unable to walk the following day) I am going to start small, maybe a 15 minute walk in the morning before my husband goes to work. If it feels okay for the rest of the day, I’ll do another one that evening.

I want so badly to just jump right in, but I know I will regret it. A few months ago, I bought this really cheesy George Foreman workout DVD on clearance and the kids and I started doing it every day. My knee was killing me, but I pushed through and kept at it. Big mistake! It only got worse. Then I ended up quitting completely.

The exercise component is key for me, and the hardest. My eating habits are not that bad. (I’m not just saying that.) And the small changes that I do need to make, I can live with. But exercise I just hate. Add knee pain and forget it!

Okay, so here is my recipe. Actually, there are two.

First, the don’t-eat-this-ever recipe. Whole-wheat macaroni and cheese. When I was doing core, I made this. It was so disgusting, we could not even finish eating it. The worst part: if you are not on core, it is 6 points! (My personal rule is to not waste points on food that tastes like dirty socks.)

Second, the good macaroni and cheese recipe. This is from the Weight Watchers website, too, but I can’t find a link. (I have a printed copy.) I am pretty sure this is the one I made that we both liked.

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

12 oz uncooked elbow macaroni
1/2 cup fat-free sour cream
12 oz fat-free evaporated milk
8 oz low-fat cheddar or colby cheese, shredded
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg
2 Tbsp dried bread crumbs
2 Tbsp Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 350.

Cook pasta according to directions. Drain and transfer to a large bowl. While pasta is still hot, stir in sour cream; set aside.

Heat milk in a small sauce pan over medium heat until tiny bubbles appear just around the edges (known as scalding). Reduce heat to low, add cheese and simmer until cheese melts, stirring constantly with wire whisk, about 2 minutes; remove from heat and stir in mustard, salt, pepper, and nutmeg.

Add cheese mixture to the pasta; mix well. Transfer to a 4-quart casserole dish.

Combine bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese; sprinkle over pasta.

Bake until top is golden, about 30 minutes. Yields 1 cup per serving.

Servings: 8
Points: 5

Well, my second week of Weight Watchers did not go as well as the first. I actually gained a pound and a half last week. Ugh!

I am not going to let it get me down, though. I am not going to get discouraged and quit. It was a setback, but I am still down 2 1/2 pounds from two weeks ago when I started, so I need to just press on.

This week’s recipe is a sweet treat that goes great with tea (or coffee). I put this in the slow cooker last Sunday before church and returned home to a delicious tea-time snack.

Slow Cooker Blueberry Coffee Cake

* 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
* 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
* 1/3 cup sugar
* 1/2 tsp baking soda
* 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
* 1/4 tsp table salt
* 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
* 1 large egg(s), beaten
* 1/2 cup plain fat-free yogurt
* 2 Tbsp canola oil
* 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
* 1 cup blueberries
* 2 sprays cooking spray
* 1 Tbsp powdered sugar

Combine both flours, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl. Combine egg, yogurt, oil and vanilla extract in a small bowl; stir well. Beat egg mixture into flour mixture with a wooden spoon until smooth; stir in blueberries.

Coat a 2-quart round soufflé dish with cooking spray; spoon batter into dish. Coat a sheet of aluminum foil with cooking spray; cover dish tightly with foil, coated side-down, so no water seeps in.

Pour 2 cups of hot water into a 5-quart or larger slow cooker; place covered baking dish in slow cooker. Cover slow cooker; cook on HIGH for 3 to 4 hours. Remove baking dish and cool on wire rack for 5 minutes. Turn cake upside down onto a wire rack to cool completely. Dust with powdered sugar before slicing into 8 pieces. Yields 1 slice per serving.

Points per slice: 3

I decided that I would start a new feature on my blog: Weight Watchers Wednesday.

Every Wednesday, I will update you on my progress, pass along any helpful tips I have (if I have any) and post a favorite recipe and its points value.

I weighed myself on Monday, a week after starting Weight Watchers, and I had lost 4 pounds. A good start.

I can only reasonably expect the loss to be 1-2 pounds per week moving forward, but the first week loss is always a nice confidence boost.

This week’s recipe is one of my favorite. My long-time readers have surely seen me mention it before.

Slow Cooker Red Beans and Barley

• 1 cup uncooked barley — rinsed (use long-cooking variety; not quick barley)
• 1 small red onion — finely chopped
• 1 large stalk celery — chopped
• 1 medium garlic clove(s) — minced
• 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes — crushed, or more to taste
• 15 oz canned kidney beans — drained and rinsed
• 28 oz canned crushed tomatoes
• 2 piece bay leaf
• 3 cups fat-free vegetable or chicken broth
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp salt

Place all ingredients in order listed in a 5-quart slow cooker. Do not stir.

Cover and cook at low setting of slow cooker for 7 hours. Stir and serve. Yields about 1 1/3 cup per serving.

Makes 6 servings.
Points: 4

Suggestions: Use fire-roasted crushed tomatoes, if available, to give this recipe a robust smoky taste.

I add 1 Tbsp chili powder and 2 tsp cumin to give it a Tex-Mex flair, then pair it with…

Corn Bread

• 1 cup uncooked cornmeal, yellow
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 tsp table salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 14 3/4 oz cream-style corn, canned
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 2 large egg white(s)
• 2 tsp corn oil

Preheat oven to 400ºF. Coat an 8-inch square cake pan with cooking spray.

Combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda in a large bowl. Mix well with a fork, then make a well in the center; set aside.

Combine creamed corn, buttermilk, egg whites and oil in a medium bowl; mix until blended. Fold mixture into dry ingredients; mix until blended. Pour batter into prepared pan and smooth the top.

Bake until a wooden pick inserted near the center comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Allow to cool in pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove from pan; cool completely before cutting into 8 squares.

Points: 3

Points permitting, the Red Beans and Barley is also great with turkey kielbasa.

I didn’t get around to doing Menu Plan Monday this week because I used my regular Sunday afternoon menu planning time to plan something else. My Weight Watchers strategy.

I have had a love-hate relationship with Weight Watchers ever since the first time I tried it back in 2001. I lost 25 pounds and I looked good. (Just ask Bob. He didn’t even have to tell me; the look on his face every time he saw me said it all.)

Well, then I had a major gall bladder attack - or whatever you call it - and had to have it removed.

When the doctor came in, he said those dreadful words that would make dieting psychologically terrifying for the rest of my life (so far, anyway), “It is often caused by rapid weight loss of 20 pounds or more.”

Ugh! Ever since then, Weight Watchers has terrified me!

I know how irrational it is, especially since I no longer have a gall bladder to develop stones, but what can I say - fear is irrational.

In my defense, do you know how much gall stones hurt? I thought I was dying, people! I even had to take an ambulance to the hospital. (And I am one of those people who never goes to the doctor for anything.)

Well, since then, I have gained back that 25 pounds, plus about 30 more, and it is time I overcame my Weight Watchers phobia.

I am going to be 32 on Thursday and my body is just not as willing to let go of extra weight as it used to be. I need to get serious about this.

So, I sat down Sunday afternoon and planed out how I would spend my daily points allowance. I figured that I would not have the time to calculate points values and carefully write everything I eat down during the hectic weekdays, so I made an outline of meals and snacks I could have throughout the day. When I get hungry, I just grab my list to see what my choices are to eat.

So far so good. It is definitely easier to follow with the planning done ahead of time.

Now that I have the foundation set up, it’s back to my regular menu planning next week. Only now with healthier meals!